rubbing, hot mamas, mamas, haters, dad, and being alone

Rubbing:
Last night was a really good concert. Not that I was there, cause I had to work. But Besu and Noel went out last night. I bet they had fun, and I'm kinda glad that no one's rubbed it in that I wasn't there. Doubt they will, and I love them for it, though I'm dying to know how the concert was. I'm sure one of the two of them will fill me in.

Hot mamas, mamas and haters:
Mom (my personal dresser) and I have been debating as to what to wear to my cousin's wedding at the end of this month. She went into my closet & was looking at all these long, black dresses, which I've worn already (not the issue) but don't particularly care for in the spirit of the even (the issue). It's a summer afternoon wedding! Can we break out of black? Long black dresses? Dark colors? Can we get some light blues, some tealength dresses, some chiffon? She brings back a two-piece LONG bridesmaid dress that is at least not black, but still isn't on the vein of the summer, flirty piece I was trying to get her to envision. I mean, I'm 25. Everyone else my age wears fun, flirty stuff, and I dress like a 40 year old. On the fourth of July, I saw the dress my "cousin" is going to wear, and I made a show to my mom about how that dress is *precicely* the type I was talking about.

Last night, mom delivered. She went shopping and bought a skirt and two dresses. The skirt's a keeper, and one of the dresses is HOT MAMA. It's EXACTLY what I was looking for. It's brown, which although it's not exactly the summery fresh color I was thinking of, is still my favourite color and I plan on ROCKING IT. Mom said that the summer blues and yellows against my skin would wash me out, and she's (of course) right. The woman knows her sh*t. I trust her fashion sense. So I put on the brown dress, and my skin tone looks darker.

Yes.

It's a halter top, with a ruched (sp?) torso and three-tiered ruffled skirt. I am in love with this dress. It's flirty, and fun, and makes me feel young. Mom says it needs neutral-toned shoes (as I'm looking up brown matching strappy heels). When I asked why (cause I have my heart set on these brownish bronze faux snakeskin strappy sandals from Vic Secret) she said because anything else will detract from the dress and then all I'd hear for the event would be "ooh, cute shoes."

Then she listed off all the people who are going to hate me for wearing the dress. You know what? Fuck 'em. I look good, damnit. I'm tired of having to watch what I wear because everyone else hates that I look good. Can _I_ enjoy my body for the next five years before it all goes south? Damn! I have limited time. I'm gonna enjoy it. I can't help that this looks good in that dress. Haters.

The anticlimactic addendum to the hotmama dress is the mama dress. As in I look like a mother who is trying to keep with the trends in that dress. It has the little fold top and then it's shorter in the front than it is in the back. It's got the swooshy design on the outer mesh with the puff paint and the swilrs... It's a good salsa dress, but I'll pass. Why?

CAUSE I'M WEARING THE HOTMAMA DRESS, BABY!!

That said, I need to do more pushups and run some more. Cause SO much skin is being showed, and I wanna have decent guns, and better looking legs, since I'm going to be showing much of my legs off.

Dad:

Dad called last night. He wanted to know if I was really going to Dayspring this year (I am) because he's going. Then he let me know that he's not staying on campus because he's "spoiled in his ways" since he's used to hotels and refuses to sleep on a cot. Then he asked me the REAL reason he called. He asked if OhioH was coming. I said he wasn't. Dad's got his hopes up.

Sigh. I almost wish I hadn't told him, but he's so happy. I'll let him live in his world.

Being alone:
Besu's last performance with Sugoi is tonight. Now I'm going, and as a matter of fact I split my outfit today in half, the top part is for day, since no one sees the bottom part anyways from sitting at the counter, and the bottom part is the night, with the strappy heels. I took my lowcut shirt for the concert tonight & my makeup bag, and I'll change at job3 when I leave. But I don't want to go to Besu's concert alone, and Noel has to work tonight. So he's not going, and there went the pool for people I do things with. I really don't want to go by myself. I dunno, it's not appealing to me to be surrounded by people I don't know, who'll be drinking, and not have someone I can talk to that I trust. But Besu's cousin will be there, and I've at least met him before, so I should be good. Besides, it's all for Besu, anyways, and if I have to sacrifice a lil comfort in favor of his last performance I guess I should have brought another shirt to wear tonight instead of the good one.

b