Okay, I just heard it again. I'm talking to my friend, who just decided to open up & tell me he likes me after years of silence. And distance, really, since we only really saw each other once a year at Thanksgiving...
I told him the truth. I was flattered. I'm not really on the market right now, but it's nice to know. And he told me something I completely respect. "I think about you too much." He needed to know if I liked him back or not so he could utilize his energy elsewhere if it wasn't worth his time. I completely respect that, and know, firsthand, how crappy that feeling is when you're telling someone that. I never rule out anyone, because you never know, but I did reiterate that I'm not in a position right now to see anyone. Which also sucks, because it's not really an answer. It's like giving a timeline to someone's hopes. It's not fair. I'm sorry that my non-answer is the best I can do.
Anyways, we were hanging out at a different conference, and during a brief reminisce about that he mentioned that one of the people there liked me, blah blah blah and then just said that he thinks that person A has never met anyone like me before.
THERE IT IS AGAIN!! The "never met anyone like you before" statement. To which I replied, "What am I, a walking contradiction?" I mean... This stuff is great, it's GREAT to think you're unique and original, but when you start to hear it all the time, you start wondering... is something WRONG with me? Am I different in the OTHER way???
But then he replied, "no, a person with substance". Which is... the ultimate compliment I think. I mean, in this crazy world of superficiality, it's GREAT to be called, "a person with substance".
Now back to griping.
So, this guy, Person A, apparently declared that he was interested in me back at the conference. This sort of thing turns me off. It's one thing to say, "I think i'm interested in ____". Then, it's still everyone for themselves, but at least people know who the competition is. It's quite another to declare it. That's like laying out your turf or something. What's that about?!
Another thing that rubs me the wrong way is when people call for no reason. Have a reason to call me. Empty "I'm interested in you, let's talk to see if we have anything in common" does not go far with me. Have a purpose. Example, "I hear you're starting a forum where artists can come together and release samples of their work for communal critique. Is there anything I can do to assist in that endeavour?" This starts a dialogue with me. This gives you a REASON to talk to me, and for me to talk BACK to you. If I really have no reason to be on the phone, I'd rather not be. Empty phone calling is out. I mean, you could call and say, "I was calling to see how you were doing, I understand that you weren't doing too well at the conference. Do you feel better?" But make sure you mean it! Then I'll get mad because I know you don't really care if I feel well or not, you just want to talk to me in the hopes that it'll go somewhere.
Okay, end of griping.
The moral is, have a point, and mean what you say. That is the only way to crack the banafsheh code.