MIA

So one of the Karate guys comes in (the one who wants to "be friends- respecting all boundaries, of course") and yells at me for being MIA.

I reply "I'm glad, I don't want to be here"

He hits me with "I thought you loved being here"

Touche.

Damn.

I hit back with "well, I used to!"

Yeah, I used to. Before people started hitting on me & stuff.

You know, I don't mind being hit on. I think sone lines are funny. You can use any line, as long as you don't take yourself too seriously. But it's when people look at me with hunger in their eyes that makes me think "there is no way I'm going *anywhere* with you". I can't describe what I mean by "hunger" at the moment.

It just is.

Nasty.

Besu was mad at me one day for being "the girl who complains" as in "I hate it when pretty girls complain about guys liking them." It's not about guys liking us, though... it's about the KIND of guy that likes us, or the WAY they like us, or how they choose to SHOW they like us. I'm all for nice guys liking me. Sure. But perverts and guys who just want to "tap dat ass"... not a fan.

And guys who read the blog just so say "so, you've got guys trying to 'tap dat ass?'" UGH they irritate me! CM used to do that. I'd blog that I'm sick of guys trying to marry me or get me into a relationship and he'd im me with "so, guys are trying to get you in a relationship?" YES, dingbat. YOU were one of them!

GEEZ!

Speaking of marriage,

I've officially reached the conclusion it's not happening for me. How & why did I reach this conclusion? You wouldnt understand. It's because I've been asked too many times. The last time I was asked, last monday, it was a joke, but still. I think I'm over getting married.

b

Damnit!

So, the plan is coming together.
I knew I'd teach after I graduated, and I knew I wanted to teach in other countries.
I didn't know how, and now, I do.

*Yay* =D

In other news, I'm sitting at work today and Lance walks by and gives the biggest raspberry I've ever heard. Then when I start laughing, he says "I miss you, damnit!"

That made me stop for a split second. Thursday night, he said almost the same thing. He asked me why I'm not in this performance. Instead of telling him "because I don't want to have a blessed thing to do with the company," or "because I just can't right now" I just took it, and let him tell me how he missed me onstage. So when he hit me with that today, it's kinda like "banaf5h3h, you're supposed to be here with us. Why aren't you?"

Because I've got bigger things to do with my life.
That's why.

It was still nice, though. Somewhere, in someone's life, I've made an impact. And that always feels good.

b

Undiscovered Geniuses

Undiscovered Geniuses

This is for the undiscovered geniuses,
(Or is it geniui? I never knew…)
Who write and paint and chisel in their bedrooms
Known forever by the last name, “Who??”

I know you’re out there, I know you’re in there.
Dancing with your hopes and fears, instead of chasing zeroes.

They never had a hit song on the airwaves,
They never broke out from the local scene,
They didn’t paste their walls with famous faces,
And they preferred the windows to the TV screen.

I know you’re out there, I know you’re in there.
Common knowledge doesn’t know the jewels below.

You always have a friend, and maybe several,
You look them in the eye and touch their hands,
You listen more than talking…
And always dream of seeing foreign lands.

I know you’re out there, I know you’re in there.
Share your gift with someone who will show theirs to you.

The beautiful don’t jump before the cameras.
The wisest women hardly ever speak.
Every time we’re sent a perfect teacher,
We miss them, as we overlook the meek.

I know you’re out there, I know you’re in there.
Harmonizing heart and hand, making mirrors from sand.

So this is for the folks who know they’re precious,
But no more precious than the dustbin man.
I kiss you on your cheek, not on a poster,
Because genius wants a lover, not a fan.

I know you’re out there, I know you’re in there.
Cover stories can’t uncover the true lover.


THANK YOU MARTIN KERR!

epitaphs

TheBesu has got to be the most clever person I know.
Before I get into that, I'll share something I made for him.
I've written his epitaph for his tombstone when he dies.

"Here Lies Besu
Now The Ladies Will Just Have To Settle For You"

And now for something completely different:

So we're in the car, listening to Avenue Q (which is practically all I listen to these days, although I did switch to Big River (sacrelige!) just to hear something different today) and it gets to the part where Nicky's homeless and asks Princeton for change... alright, for those of you who don't know:

Nicky:
Help the homeless!
Help the homeless!
Ooh! Hey Princeton!

Give me a quarter!
Here in my hat!
Come on, Princeton!
It’s as easy as that!
Helping others brings you
Closer to God.
So give me a quarter...

Princeton:
I don’t have any change.

Nicky:
Hmmm....okay.

Give me a dollar.

Princeton:
That’s not what I meant.

Nicky:
Give me a five.

Princeton:
Are you kidding?

Nicky:
The more you give.
The more you get.
That’s being alive!
All I’m asking you
Is to do what
Jesus Christ would do.
He’d give me a quarter,
Why don’t you?


And because I'm vice-president of OverAnalyzing Not-So Anonymous (there has GOT to be someone out there who over-analyzes more than me. Anyone? Shit...) I stopped the cd in the car & said "Hang on, that's not what Jesus Christ would do. According to the Bible, he cured the blind man who was begging. So, if you're begging, Jesus would fix the source of your problem, not pay you off. The guy was blind, Jesus made him see so he didn't have to beg anymore [ edit: He also kinda took away his prime moneymaking feature so the chap didn't have a choice. /end edit ]... ANYWAYS the point is, Jesus would have given the kid a job, not a quarter. To which TheBesu replies:

"yeah, He'd have given him a job. 'In fact, I've got an opening right now; there were twelve positions, but one of them didn't work out.'"

It's not a complete quote, but that's the gist of it, and I about died when he said that. That boy has got to be the wittiest, cleverest friend I've got.

God bless 'im.

the art of conversation

so that guy i mentioned before is cool.

i wrote him a haiku about how i noticed i hadn't sent him an email in a while.
he writes me back in haiku about trying to see how long we could go before we went crazy
i wrote him back in haiku something to the effect of "you're on"
he wrote me back in haiku something 4 stanzas deep about his car & the upcoming three-day weekend.

Smart Bastard. See, before it was one stanza haikus. Once I say "you're on," now he's got to break out with the entire emails in haiku. So I did what anyone would do.

Called him an overachiever. In haiku. And proceeded to write more stanzas in my email than he wrote in his. 'Cause that's what we do in the fourth grade.

Ever meet someone who is smarter than you are, and have it irritate you because then you have to step up your game? That's where I am with this guy. I enjoyed the privilege of being the smartest person in my social network (at work, I wouldn't dare claim that in my personal life), and then I meet and email this guy, who steps it up justenough that my first reaction is "that little f***er," which is immediately followed up with "now how am I going to top this?"

It's good. I haven't been this mentally stimulated since...

Since...

Well, damn.

Anyways, so ever since, all of our emails have been in Haiku. Surprisingly, the more I write them, the less I need to count the syllables (though I do anyway, just for confirmation). There's a distinct flow with haiku. And I also enjoy it because it's poetry. I get to excercise my writing muscle in a completely different fashion.

Poetry: the economy of speech.

We came up with that in Poetry class, and I've loved that sentence ever since.

So this guy is really keeping my brain ticking. Good. Next post, "in other news, your most recent TheBesu update!"

Happy Valentine's Day

Every day is the 14th!

Today was great. It's my first Valentine's day as a Single since puberty.
AND I LOVED IT!!!!

I had lunch with a friend, and during lunch, cuteguy who moved away (I really need to make a name for him) called me & wished me a happy Valentine's day.

That made my day. I was already having a good lunch since my cheeseburger & fries were on point, but damn. That really threw it into the stratosphere. I mean, here's this guy, who is at work, who doesn't owe me a thing, and he calls me during his lunch break to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day. I felt SO special! He was the only person to call me. So he gets credit.

I need to name him. I'll think of something.

b

and then he didnt even grade it

so i worked like shit on that paper for BritLit and he doesnt even grade them. Which is a good thing, a really cool thing, because it gives you a chance to see how a particular prof views your work & ideas without being penalized.

Only I asked him, "okay, but if you *had* graded my paper, what would it be?"

he said an A.

can't that count for me? then he said he looked forwards to reading my essays.


ooh, next time, story of the Comm390PaperNazi!

b

the quote of the day

comes from mom.

she's on the phone and talking to a friend who is going to a birthday party i'm attending. I asked mom to ask her (while she was on the phone) if she was going to said party, and she said yes, so mom said, "good, so she'll have someone to talk to there. not too many people (implying one person) like banaf5h3h."

then mom made a point of saying that i was invited by the party whose birthday it was himself, and not by his significant other. To which the person on the other end of the line responded "that's because banafsheh's a threat".

wtf?

I don't need your man. What part of happily single aren't people getting? I NEED to be single right now. I've been a serial dater since I hit puberty. I NEED THIS "ME TIME." And damn if I'm not liking it, either.

But the bigger point I guess is, why would I want a man that would never want me?
I'm not sick as all that, tenjewberrymuds.

and if you want to keep your man, you might want to start acting like you like his choice of restaurants once in a while, so he won't have to start making excuses when i raise my eyebrow after he told me you planned out the entire valentine's day thing thus allowing him no romantic creativiy, further allowing him no margin for error on what you planned a nice evenning should be. Well, he just told me the part about you planning the evening. The rest was written on his face, which he tried to clean up with excuses I said it wasn't my business to hear. I mean, it's always nice to plan something for your significant other, but the way it came across was less romance and more ultimatum

Really, I salute you. You exemplify what it is to "train a man". Bravo.


< expletive >

did i write that? I meant to write "insecure."

who am i kidding?

b, tired of people trying to make her feel like she's angelina jolie or something

ps, i had some quality aol instant messenger time with the ex boyfriend who drove me to being single. He's good. As in doing well. He actually listened to me & saw shows on Broadway. He notes the difference & gave me credit for actually knowing some shit about theater. whouldvethunkit.

the quote of the day

last night, sunday, i was in a conversation with someone explaining (yet again) why I don't do theater anymore, and I basically boiled it down to:

"I was so many things to other people that I was nothing to myself"

Which he made me repeat, and then said it was poetic.

It was nice to be paid a compliment.

are those needles hypodermic?

I had my first accupunture experience today.
The weird part is, they do this test at the beginning... you stick a finger at a time into this machine, kinda like getting fingerprinted (for those who have ever had the luxury). It examines your chi & draws a map of it.

The doctor took one look at my chi diagram & asked me if I'd had a head injury.
yes.
Was it on the right side?
yes.

wow.

Cool. So then he did the accupunture thing & some electrical current stuff.
I'll be on this bitter herbal tea for a while, but he says I've got some stuff that I'm not going to post on the web. You'll just have to ask me.

Then we went to Tower Records, where I proceeded to forget the reason why I was there so I left & went next door to Ross where I caught up with Mom & bought Short Circuit on DVD for 10$.

I'm going to NEBY next friday, if I haven't mentioned it already, and I got some stuff to make a display. I'm freaked. I'm revealling my new website there. I've got the business cards & everything now.

banaf5h3h is doing good, I think.

Now I wish my mother was.

b

whose bright idea

was it for me to take two writing intensive/reading intensive courses at the same time?

oh, mine, you say?

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!

b

grr

dear coolest medieval and renaissance brittish literature professor:


STOP SENDING ME EMAILS.
Yes, they pertain to the class, yes, they're chock full of information, and soud bytes of what ye olde english sounded like, but they're messing with my downtime.

I mean, I finally get the hang of one assignment, and there's another email in my inbox from you telling me to "check out this" for supplemental material, or "read that" for more background.

Stop it, I say!

b

this is the dog that chased the cat that ate the mouse...

So, I'm at work, and I'm trying to figure out what the heck I'm supposed to do for class. I'm still miffed that I have supplemental material that's supposed to help me with my three page assignment that's due on tuesday, and that I need a mythology book, a latin book, and a french-english/english-french dictionary to complete the secondary assignment which helps us firure out the primary assignment that's due on wednesday.

I also still have no idea where my tuesday night class is.

Finally talked to cuteguy on the phone. That was nice.

Mom's bday went well. We watched Bride & Prejudice, and it was funny, although I (as usual) found parts funny that I don't think I was intended to, but anyways I guess the moral of the story is "No Life Without Wife".

So the kid mom tutors won a bookmark contest... let me rephrase that. A kid my mom tutors goes to a school where they have a bookmark contest. I drew the bookmark for him. He colored it in. His name is on it, so he won. But I WON. So, after years of doodling, I AM AN AWARD WINNING ILLUSTRATOR, DAMNIT! My bookmark poster will be turned into a bookmark for bookworms generations to come.

I RULE, DAMNIT.

Then I felt really guilty, cause I remember when Cire Doowllams told me he hated that I always won back in high school...

Backstory:

Cire and I have been going to the same schools since 2nd grade. Elementary school, Middle School & High School. Now, in Elementary school, they used to have these contests all the time, where we'd make posters. Cire would do these elaborate ink drawings of centaurs and men with horns and blood, which were always too good for words. I would (or rather my mom would basically pull a Mr. Porter on me, and do the assignment which she insisted I botched while I would give up & go to sleep) end up with a world peace poster that would win.

Cire hated me.

Rather, he hated that my world peace, diversity-centric color pencil creations always won.

So, remembering this, I called him when I found out that I won the prize (which I was sad about and proud of, since I proved to myself that I could actually draw) & told him about it. Then he called me evil for never admitting it before.

We're going out soon for a round of drinks.

b

so much happened today

me: this is the first class i've ever had, where i need loads of extra curricular reading in order to simply understand and comprehend the suggested reading material in order to perform the homework
The Besu: welcome to my life
The Besu: i read a bunch of math stuff to actually do the work i do now
The Besu: outside of the text that is
The Besu: good luck with all the studying
me: thanks, i've got my edith hamilton, my french-english dictionary and my latin book
The Besu: you forgot something i think
m: oh, and my condensed oxford english dictionary
The Besu: and...?
The Besu: DASZ KNOOTS!!!!
me: oh yeah, my german-english dictionary



Freestyler: goodnight beautiful
me: night, knight
Freestyler: you know, you probably get complimented so much that my words are just random molecules in your air.

**I WISH**

Indeed, thine are

So much happened today with my first day of class, but I can't write it all here now cause i'm about to go to sleep... but i thought i'd share what the day ended with.

A moment of craziness with TheBesu revealed:

midieval dirty talk:
thou enjoyest thine art as a harlot, dost thy not?

Beware when you leave the house... you might actually meet people

Basically, I got roped into going to the DC center like I said yesterday. I liked it, I saw some folks, I even saw one of the folks I went to Haifa with. She goes to GW now, and she's going to go to NEBY with us. Weird. SMAAAAALL world.

So, we all went to lunch.

ALSO, she informed me that one of the guys we went to lunch with was the "cousin" (meaning may as well be, but no actual relation) of another one of the Haifa pilgrims, whom we were very close with.


SMAAAAAAAALL world.

So, we had ethiopian for lunch, well, Irritrian (can I say that's close enough? I don't know enough about the culture to determine that) and I actually liked it. I figured out what my problem was with it before. I went to a friend of mine's Ethiopian wedding, and I distinctly remember disliking the food. Specifically the bread. Now, when it came to eat, they handed out rolls of the bread I was prepared to not like again. And I did indeed, not enjoy the bread.

On it's own.

The secret is in the way you eat the bread. On it's own, I don't much care for it, or at least it's an acquired taste, acquired by the folks who developed it and passed it on to future generations. BUT, when coupled with any of the sides on the platter, it was GOOD, and the very taste I wasn't used to provided a nice balance, and sometimes even a complement to the dishes I was scooping.

Can I say that the Lamb was "da bomb diggity".

That was good. I didn't care for anything else (well, I didn't even try much else) but the spinach and the Lamb.

YUMMY!!!

And it wasn't as spicy as I was preparing myself for, considering the jalapeno peppers jutting out everywhere.

On a separate note, my room's all booked up for NEBY!

WOO HOO!!!

AND my theatrical presentation got picked up by the DC Assembly. They want me to come in & give my theatrical workshop. I'm so stoked!

b

when coincidences attack

So I was talking (via aim, how else?) to DateFinder (who needs a new name, I think he's outgrowing that one... yay!), and he asked me how I handle social situations. So I told him that if I know people there, I engage in conversations, and if I know no one, it helps to know a little about everything, so that I can carry my own weight in an intelligent conversation should the occasion ever arise.

Then, something tickled my curiosity for a completely different reason, and being the Taurus/Geminii Cusp child that I am, I checked both horoscopes. I like checking them at the end of the day for validity purposes.

Anyways, here's the Gemini one for today:

"If anyone can mingle, it's you. You can chat with anyone about anything, mostly because you know just enough about almost anything to carry on a convincing conversation. You'll be especially believable now, so if you're out with friends and you know that the person you've been introduced to thinks that you're a doctor, a scientist or an author because of the vocabulary you're flinging around, have some fun with it -- temporarily. Ever hear of 'Six Degrees of Separation?'"

Now, a friend of mine from Ohio is in town this weekend, and he's been trying to get me to go to the DC Center on Sundays, since he goes when he's here, but I never go because it has too much history for me. But, today I decided to go tomorrow, since I hardly ever get out the house & do anything like that. I figured, I'd meet new people, which is always good, get out the house (even better), see & catch up with him... so okay. I bit the bullet & agreed to go. He kinda roped me into it, but that's okay. The Gemini horoscope said:

"Go ahead and accept a dare. Your impatience with all this endless conjecture leads you to strike out on your own and actually put your money where your mouth is. Your results will be spectacular."

So I'm going to have a good tomorrow.

The Taurus horoscope said:

"If you're single, you're due for quite the bumpy ride, as Bette Davis once said. The last person on earth you'd ever have expected to reveal secret feelings to you will be the first one who'll do it. Of course, you've been trying to tell yourself that those feelings you were having were wrong, but at this point, you need to buckle down and admit that it's true. But if you think about it, how could you possibly blame them?"

Who the heck has a crush on me? Especially who that I have a crush on back? I already buried my friendship with HeWhoShallRemainNamelessUntilIGetOverWhatHappened...

hrm. Unless FirstLove aims me & lays down the law, I'm stumped on that one.

It also said:

"Increase your exposure to art and you'll discover a pattern that reflects your life."

Now, I'm all for that!

b

why i love thebesu

Reason number 3456:

He has a distinct personality. I think the trouble with a lot of people is that they're becoming SO PC, and worrying SO much about offending people that they lose a sense of personality... the thing that sets them apart and distinguishes them from other people.

There's much to be said for tact. Anyone can say anything, it's just a matter of how you say it. And you ought to be able to discern the proper way of divulging your opinion in a variety of settings.

But to have your own opinions, and to not be afraid of sharing them (granted in a polite, or at least acceptable manner)...

That's gold!

b

As promised

And now, as promised, what happened Wednesday night.

Nothing. Nothing at all. What did you think, that I'd have something juicy for you?

I went to help ParkPoliceMan with a project. Here's some background:

Saturday:
He asked me if i'd ever written a proposal, to which i said, "i'm an english major", to which he replied, "have you ever written a proposal?"

...

Then I launched into questions as to what type of proposal, who the audience was, etc. So he, wide eyed as if he'd never seen me before, says, "can you help me?" to which I respond "sure, but I won't write it for you" Then he got hungry, and left to get something to eat, during which time I started to write him an outline of his proposal, with blanks that he could fill in with information.

By the time he got back, I'd written the entire first page for him.

So of course I had to finish the whole thing, since there couldnt be a break in style. We made an appointment for wednesday (the only day our conflicting schedules had free for months) and he promised to buy me pants as payment.

FFWD to tonight, and I wrote it, at least a bigger chunk of it, and then went straight to Feast, where the stres of the workday, and running around to his house & trying to get home to pick up food for Feast and get there at a reasonable time wore me out so completely that I got such a headache I couldnt move. Really, it was scary.

But on the ParkPoliceMan note, nothing happened.

I'm still not sure if I should be happy about that, or not.

b

Why I'll never be cool

me: what's the 713?
me: i dont understand the music these kids play these days
The Besu: 713?
me: that's what it said in the song
me: something about the seven one three
The Besu: that's a texas area code
me: oh
me: okay
The Besu: probably houston area, if it's in a rap song
me: is that where the deuce comes from?
me: i'm so lost
The Besu: that's what they call it down there
The Besu: throwin up deuces
The Besu: peace sign
me: right
me: okay
me: thank you
me: i mean, i knew i wasn't hip, but damn
me: i didn't know i was my mother