hate is a strong word.
i have an aversion to virginia.
it's less than a half-hour's distance, and yet, i rarely, RARELY go there. I've got this allergy to the bridge and 395, it seems.
One of my absolute best friends... scratch that. My absolute best friend lives in Virginia, and I hardly ever see her. This is because my life revolves around work and school, primarily, but it burns my brisket that she's so close and yet I hardly ever see her.
We ought to be hanging out regularly, you know? Proper mates. People would love to be close to their mates, and here I am close to mine and hardly ever see her.
We talked about being roommies, and all the spots I looked at were all around here, in maryland, or a little further south from where I live. This is how lovely she is: she not once said "hey, dipstick, can we look for something a little closer to where MY point of reference is?" Seriously I was not looking in Virginia. But her whole everything is there, her friends, her family... but she didn't let on once. She's a champion.
Here's something slightly related, but not completely directly related to her. Recently, she called me on some shit, and it hurt because I really didnt see what she was talking about. Then, I found myself about to be in a similar situation, and something clicked...
I learned something about myself: I can't hang out. I have to be doing something. So in a way, this friend was right. When she'd say "it's been too long, we have to do something," my instinctive reaction was to say my standard, "I haven't got time." And that blanket statement kind of shut down any future invitations, as I think she was waiting for me to let her know when I was available. In the meantime, other folks were asking me specific things, like "we're going to see X at Y cinema on Z day, want to come?" Most times I'd say, "can't I'm working." Sometimes, I'd go. And while I don't go to all of those either, there was something that I set aside time for to do. Even though I said I wasn't going to last week cause I had to work, I somehow got out early and still made it... but now I digress. When my friends give specific things, I usually make the time to go, if I can. **IF I CAN** Which is still not always, but sometimes, moments come up where I can shift something around for a few hours.
I thought she had her own set of friends that she hung out with, cause the invitations stopped coming. I didn't understand that the invitations had ceased because I'd given a blanket "no." In fact, I hadn't even considered that I'd even given a blanket "no." Now I see why she thought that I was shirking her friendship. I couldn't before, but I do now.
Took me some time, I guess. Now I'm asking her to come to everything I get invited to, and she's telling me no. Maybe one day she'll be able to say yes. That would be lovely.
Ironically, throughout my ranting of the evils of Virginia, Virginia is where we've chosen to go for my birthday. Girls weekend out, nothing but us single ladies, beaches, and trouble. Nothing like historical property to get the girls in trouble, eh?
So back to one of the main points, I'm sorry for having given a blanket statement about my schedule. Took me a bit to realise it, but I'm sorry.