Saturday, April 26, 2008

he said he's sorry.

Don't stick me on the outside.
You pulled me out of my comfort zone; it's partially your responsibility to catch me when I fall. Make my trek outside my box a comfortable one, and I'll stay.

Stop inconveniencing the rest of us just because you're stubborn.

Aurgh.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. You know I'll forgive you.

It's uncomfortable for me, when you say things like "I messed up..."
I'm not used to hearing that, and it's awkward and I don't know what to do.

I've never known when to leave a man. My parents never really taught me how to function in relationships, and granted there's not much advice either of them can give me that I'd take without tables of salt. However, Lorraine Hansberry's Raisin in the Sun offered me with advice that I've taken such to heart that I think it's mucked up some breakups, but there it stands:

Child, when do you think is the time
to love somebody the most?
When he's done good and made things
easy for everybody?
That ain't the time at all.
It's when he's at his lowest...
...and he can't believe in himself
because the world's whipped him so!
When you starts measuring somebody...
...measure him right, child.
Measure him right.

There's something about that that has rung so clearly and true straight down to my soul... When a man is at his lowest, that's when he needs love the most.

That's what I do. That's all I know how to do, is love people.
It hurts, but there it is.

Any other ladies reading this, these are your instructions. Love him when he's at his lowest. Like I said, this backfires for me sometimes cause I don't know when to leave well enough alone and walk away.

Well, anyways, my heart's confused enough as it is.

Just thought I'd share. I'm not mad at you. Frustrated, yes; mad, no.

bw

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