Tuesday, April 01, 2008

bad habits die hard

i have a bad habit, where i compare behaviors exhibited by current sqeezes, boyfriends, potential boyfriends, whoever, to exes.

Thing is, I'm ususally right.

Therefore, it's a horrible, depressing shock that the bear, the potential, is exactly like the first love of my life.

the way everything happened. exactly the same.

it's put me in such a bad mood. and you might ask, why is that bad? isn't that supposed to be great? And I'd respond, you're right, it's supposed to be great, only it's not. it's awful beacause i have no idea where his head is at. And what kind of crap idea is it to fall for a man you dont realy know, yet feel like you've known all your life?


besides, it's all wrong. everything is wrong about it. and the only thing that's succeeded in happening is more pain for b.

he's all wrong for me and i love him.

i said it. there. I keep praying to God to help me forget him, and it's not working. I've been praying for forgiveness, and I just want my life back the way it was.

Nothing works. it's like he came in and just screwed everything up.

In other news, my reputation at work was successfully DESTROYED today. Officially. She's out to get me, and she's got me good.


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