I will not be the girl

"I will not be the girl/who gets asked how it feels/to be trodding along/at the genius' heels.../I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by"
-The Last 5 Years

So I sit, at home, bloated. And all I want is for my man to sit and have sympathy bloat with me and tell me how pretty I am even though I have a stomach virus and how I'm the prettiest girl with a stomach virus there is.

But I can't have that. Well, I won't even argue the point of "did you ask? maybe you'd have had it if you asked." No. Tonight coincides with a to-do for another birthday, and he'd asked me three times to go with him to that, so I know it means alot to him... And I remember I'd hinted at doing something for him myself this weekend, in honor of his birthday last Thursday, and I think he was game for my plans, but this stupid stomach flu burst that (among many) bubble(s), and now he's going out. Which is fine, mind you. I just wish I was going too. Instead of being home, alone, with nothing and no one to take my mind off of my digestive tract issues.

He offered to stop by, though, and I declined... because I knew if I saw him I'd try to make him stay because I really want to be with him atm.

Then he asked me if there was anything I needed from him, and I held back, "YES YOU CAN COME HERE AND STAY WITH ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M THE BEST LOOKING GIRL WITH DIGESTIVE TRACT ISSUES IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND PASS ME KLEENEXES!"

I held back. He's in his prime, he should be out. I should be with him.

How depressing is that, though? Give up fun & stay with your bloated girl & make her feel better. I'm not that selfish.

I try not to be that selfish.

I think I'm that selfish.

But I wouldn't dare ask it in a million years. So I guess I'm not that selfish.

But then guests came in, and it was really sweet of them to come in & bring the fun to me since I couldnt go have fun with them.

b, off to find a good throne.