Thursday, January 04, 2007

I refuse to compete

So the more I sit on this, the more it bothers me.

My bf calls me to tell me he's swinging by & picking up a birthday cake. That someone else baked him. I'm so fired up that you can't even see it... What's another woman doing working my job?

But I'm too ill to leave the house, and too ill to see him on his birthday, so the idea of the dinner I'd planned here since I'd been here all day with nothing else to do seemed out, plus when I spoke to him, he didn't make any mention of wanting to swing by & see me on his day (which didn't bother me in the least, ironically... because of the whole "i'm sick" point).

But the more I sit on someone else making him cake, the angrier I get. So, I scrapped mine.

I refuse to act in competition for roles I should have by default.

Sorry, I just needed to let that out before it exploded and I didn't have anywhere else to go with it.

Just to clarify... This isn't jealousy, it's pain. Pain that he needs someone else to do my job. I don't get jealous, I get hurt.


okay I'm over it. I should be glad that he got a cake at all, right? Since he's always talking about how people always forget his birthday? I'm going to choose to be happy that someone was there to step in for him. And IGNORE that that person wasn't me.

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