Friday, August 08, 2008

bullet point catch up

i'm in a show.
was asked to be in another show.
that's two shows before september ends.
work is crazy: they're changing over the way we do things; doing away with one software in favor of another, more unifying software, but i won't be able to use either for the first week of school and will be flying blind and hate that.
school is crazy: i'm killing myself but it's done.
boys: i'm returning to the old banafsheh. the one where i used to have loads of boys around, but no real prospects. I love that banafsheh. I'm more comfortable being one of the guys.
the corgi and i have assumed roles in our relationship. he's the jet-set husband, i'm the homemaker wife. it works, and it's great to have a place to put that energy again.
no, we're not married. or together. we just... slip into these roles when we're together that he seems to always initiate, like asking me to move in and watch his son while he's gone or *telling* me that he's made me his ICE contact instead of asking me if I'd mind.

that's more than a bullet point.

went on two outings in one day.
the first one... didn't suck but doesn't have the potential the second one does.
the second one impressed me.
i am game for another outing with him.
very soon.
he makes me laugh.
and it's been so long since i've laughed. boisterously. without any reservations. disgustingly loud. and it hurt parts of my face i haven't used in forever and it was great.
had different people ask me about or tell me they saw the ex, which ripped a hole in my heart, though i held up well. then, a day after the last person asks me how he's doing, i see him in person. stood five feet away from him for ten minutes and didn't know.
my heart couldn't take it, and mid conversation, i just had to walk away.
God totally tested me. I acted like I was over him, and God just sent out a little reminder that I wasn't.
That sucked.
But I recovered.
Thanks Chicago.
Thanks Homefry.
Thanks Boss.
Thanks Bear.
Thanks Corgi.
Thanks Actor.
Thanks Tech.

For different reasons, but you all remind me I'm awesome until I can remind myself.

had coffee read by someone else. The coffee thinks I'm awesome. I just have to catch up to the coffee.

No comments: