but it hurts everywhere.
i'm depressed. nothing works.
everything's going wrong.
and i'm walking such a fine rope as i try to maintain what dignity i have left instead of relying on bus, since he's got enough worry in life. I mean... I feel like I'm growing dependent on him, and that's the absolute last thing i want to do. i think my original *in* dependence is one of my traits that drew him to me, and since that day i've just grown more and more dependent on him to be there for me.
that's horrible. who wants that?
who wants that?
everything just adds in to my slide. and the drugs i'm on won't let me have a clear head. i can't think straight. it's awful.